2 cities - a tale of no tales

I moved to Sydney. Alvin, unfortunately, still remains in Melbourne. This makes it hard for me to update his diary, but I will try anyway.

I just spoke to Alvin over Facebook chat. I had a problem.

"I need to go to the toilet, number twos, but I can't be bothered getting off the couch," I said.

"Is there a bag around?" he replied.

There wasn't, but still, his problem solving genius should be acknowledged. You may be surprised at his genius in this field but I wasn't. I'd seen it before.

Every year we go to the same music festival in the country. He packs a plastic bottle that is ample for urinating in while lying in his sleeping bag. He knows that he will drink enough that he won't be able to make it through a sleep without having to go to the toilet. He also knows that he will be too drunk and tired to get out of his sleeping bag, get into some shoes, unzip his tent, step out into the cold country night air, and find a discreet spot to urinate.

This happens to all of us at these festivals, yet we prepare not. Perhaps this is because we prefer not to sleep next to our own urine or perhaps it's because our meagre intellects are nothing like that of Alvin.

Alvin's foresight is that of a God. A lazy, disgusting God.

Back

It's Easter Sunday, April 4 2010. It's been a full something something days since the last post about Alvin. This isn't because I've been lazy. Oh no. It's because he hasn't done anything in those days. Seriously nothing.

That's a lie.

He's done some things. Eating cereal, catching trains, going to the toilet, he's done those things but really not much else.

Well the other day he told me, over a bowl of cereal, that he was gonna start doing things again. So ... stay tuned cause Alvin is back ... can you feel the excitement? No? Yeh me neither.

Nothing

I haven't spoken to Alvin today. I wonder what he's doing. It could be anything. 

In the film Adaptation, Robert Mckee explains at his Story seminar:

"People are murdered everyday. There's genocide. War. Corruption. Every fucking day somewhere in the world somebody sacrifices his life to save somebody else. Every fucking day someone somewhere takes a conscious decision to destroy someone else. People find love. People lose it. For Christ sake, a child watches a mother beaten to death on the steps of a church. Someone goes hungry. Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman. If you can't find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don't know crap about life. And why the fuck are you wasting my precious two hours with your movie. I don't have any use for it. I don't have any bloody use for it!"

I'm guessing Alvin is still in bed. It's either that or playing Playstation. 

Is this blog wasting your time?

Akon

About two weeks ago, that beautiful Senegalese-American with the voice of a troubled sexual angel, Akon, performed to a packed Rod Laver Arena.

The kids went in droves to see him. Of course they did. It's AKON!

The next day Australia and the world was shocked in learning there was a brawl. One young man talked to the camera describing the unfortunate events and displaying the scabs and scars on his face. He had been repeatedly kicked.

The world's heart went out to him, that poor kid. What had he done to deserve this?

As Alvin watched the news story he laughed.

"That's what you get for liking Akon." He said.

On a couch

It's Saturday night. 

People are out. 

All over Australia they're out. 

People are meeting, forming friendships, relationships. 

People are fighting. People are dancing.

Drinking, drug taking, mistake making. 

They are the youth and they are alive. 

While his peers are out creating memories and reminding themselves that they are young and beautiful and alive, Alvin lies on a couch. Bad Saturday night television throws a lonely blue glow over his lounge room. 

100% Alvin

Alvin tried coke for the first time on Saturday night. He wasn't sure what to expect. He was told he would feel '100% Alvin'.

He says he felt nothing.

He claimed, 'The world isn't ready for 100% Alvin.'

He called me at 8AM, from what he thought was going to be a house-party, to tell me this story.

Alvin and Eric Bana

I was chatting to Alvin yesterday. Then for no real reason he brought up Eric Bana.

He said, 'How's Eric Bana?'

'What about him?' I replied.

He answered, 'He used to play like weird Australian characters ... and now he's super famous.'

Thought provoking stuff.