ME: Hey
wanna do an interview for Alvin
Alvin: yello
what you mean?
we'll talk on here
and then I'll post it on Alvin
umm
ok
what kind of questions
What are you doing now?
this wont be funny...
i'm sitting in a motel watching inbetweeners and 'chatting' on facebook
motel?
Where are you?
wangaratta
Can you remember when I started the Alvin blog>
hmm
i could probably check the first post and see it's relevance
but you don't remember when I told you I was going to do it?
no not really
Neither do I
You never really seemed to care
like it was no big deal
but it's pretty weird really
people write blogs about me all the time really
i'm used to it
You made me change the name though
this interview is over!
why?
you can't bring up the name change
that's like when people call me alvin, it ruins the point of the name change
I remember we used to go to parties and people would go, "Alvinnnnnnn!!!"
That was the best
exactly
if it becomes a nickname
it's pointless to change it
why'd you want the name to change anyway
for any incrimination from stories both factual and fictional
I think I might make this the last ever Alvin story by the way
fictional?
It was all true
not all of it
what wasn't true
i've never watched offspring, done drugs, played call of duty or slept in mens beds
ha
I never even told the best sleeping in a man's bed story
i don't know what you're talking about
hmm
I got distracted
tlaking to my housemate
and forgot what I was gonna ask
hey, do you think I should reveal who you are
considering this is the last post and all
"And revealing.... BRANDON DAVID"
everyone knows Brand David dreams of a life where he could have one story to tell
there is no way it could be him, not one humerous anecdote or adventure
Are there any stories that are your favourites?
from life or alvin?
one and the same really
i think the drawing of 'there was no girl' sums me up pretty well
it really does
are there any that make you cringe?
nah not really
i can't remember them all
My personal favourite was when you got bullied by your friends
and planned a revenge
but the problem was
you never did the revenge
i did shave my beard and keep the hair
i still have it...
i'm just waiting for the right type of revenge
how long have you had the hair?
has to be 2 years i reckon
it was a warm day when i got ditched
and it doesn't feel like last year
yeah
the blog has been running a long time
but I rarely posted stuff
sometimes I'd get inspired
and think, "Yeah, I'm gonna make Alvin famous... for his mediocrity." BUt then I'd always just forget about it
obviously i'm not busy enough
you don't do much
i do a bit
i just play the cards a bit closer to the vest these days
you could no longer trust me?
just saving them for the auto biography
well the idea was that I'd do this for the rest of your life
and document the whole thing
you'd never need to write an autobiography
it's your fault for moving interstate
are you disappointed it's ending
you could be missing the biggest money making opportunity of your life
why
cos i'm awesome, and the world must know my story.
The Alvin blog was a place for you to be real
none of this fake showyness
it's over now Alvin
bear your soul Alvin
no need to front with the jokes and the fake arrogance
what's behind the laughter Alvin
what exactly are you asking
Who is Alvin?
You know in deep interviews with celebrities they ask that
"Tell me, who is the real Tom Cruise?"
that's what I'm doing
yeh but if i was a celebrity, i'd be like, what a shit question
lazy journalism Negus
go back to looking smug and reporting the news in a 'i can't believe you n00bs don't already know what i'm saying' style
god i hate him
That's one thing I regret
what?
not showing your amazing ability to criticise people and things in an intelligent way
without ever doing anything yourself ever
other than you know, pwning noobs on Call of Duty
that's is what i do, the criticism itself
meh
I'm ending this interview for the same reason I'm ending the blog
I can't be bothered anymore and you're boring me
so... any last words?
you like Negus don't you?
I do
but I don't really know why
I just do
i used to
but i watched 6pm a couple of times
yeah I ain't seen it yet
he's seriously like
ah
you know
what i said before
k
you also hate Leunig
yup, i don't see why anyone would like him
I hate leunig cos his cartoons are meant to be intelligent and deep
but they are doodles with irrelevant words
anyway, last words?
These will be the last ever words on the Alvin blog, pick them wisely
that's too much pressure